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How I Found Myself in Holy Cross’ Jesuit Identity

 

Coming from a Jesuit high school in Houston, Texas, I came to Holy Cross thinking I knew where to look for the Ignatian spirituality and close community I’d loved back home. I was excited to hang out in Campion House and enjoy the warm cookies baked daily for students on campus. I’d go to Mass on Sunday nights and I’d sign up for the first year retreats everyone was talking about. These were all great ideas, but I was missing the core of what Jesuit spiritual identity is: being with others and living in community.

For starters, I didn’t even know where to begin looking. Literally, the first time I walked up to the Chaplain’s house, I couldn’t find the entrance. It’s on the side of the hill, past the cemetery, up from Loyola. The door IS the one that’s right past the steps in on the side of the house. But, I, in my confident, assured way, knew that couldn’t possibly be the door to a student space. That looked too much like a home.

It took 3 weeks of me passing by and waiting to see someone else go in the door, before I allowed myself to follow them.

I like to think of this experience as a metaphor for my entire spiritual journey in college. I came in thinking God would be in this one place, and when I couldn’t find him there, I didn’t know where to look. The problem wasn’t that the Jesuit identity or community was missing, but that I couldn’t see it, even when it was right in front of me.

Holy Cross’ Jesuit identity extends far beyond the pews in St. Joseph’s chapel. One of the greatest examples of this came in my first semester at Holy Cross, when I participated in a solidarity rally in Worcester, the night the city was deciding how to move forward on legislation declaring Worcester would not be a sanctuary city for migrants. I and hundreds of other protestors, including multiple buses full of Holy Cross students, stood outside of City Hall, chanting, “Immigrants are welcome here!” over and over again. When I turned around, I recognized a familiar face, Fr. Boroughs, the president of our school wearing a thick down puffer coat. He wasn’t there as a political or religious leader, he was there as a person whose voice was equal to all of ours, in solidarity with the community. 

To me, this is the example I would like to recognize and live by. Knowing that his voice as a community member who listened first and spoke when called to do so, Fr. Boroughs exemplified the power of humility and solidarity. Jesuit identity means being drawn into the community, not just as a leader but sometimes as a voice among the crowd. The greatest lesson I learned at Holy Cross was not just how to lead, but to listen, and to use my voice where it can do the most good. I am proud to be a woman for and with others. 

Throughout my four years at Holy Cross, my faith has grown in ways I never expected: through the contemplative and reflective questions asked in each of my classes, to the conversations I had with new friends in Kimball, to my days spent studying abroad in Italy and Perú, to the care each and every professor had for me in their classes. And now as I look back on my time at Holy Cross, I can only hope to use what I have learned not only in Loyola Chapel and in my classes, but also that day in front of city hall, to go forth and set the world on fire.

 

Johanna Mackin ’20

Johanna Mackin is a senior Political Science major with a self-designed Migration Studies minor and a Latin American, Latinx, and Caribbean Studies concentration. She is from Houston, Texas and spent junior year abroad in Italy and Peru. On campus, she is involved in the Office of Admission as a greeter, overnight host, and a retreat leader.
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Unplug, Unwind, and Discern

Olivia Hastie ’22

 

One of the many life-giving experiences at Holy Cross is the Spiritual Exercises Retreat. Students from all faith backgrounds and communities sign up to partake in this experience because it offers a peaceful environment to rest and reflect.   A brief description of the Exercises as written on the Holy Cross Retreats webpage: 

“What do you desire? What is God inviting you to? How do you integrate your faith with decisions you make in your life? What are the movements of your heart? Do you desire freedom and inner peace? An adapted version of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits, this five-day silent retreat is an opportunity for reflection and prayer. In silence, you will be given the opportunity to reflect more deeply about your faith, the power of God’s love for you and your relationship to others. In addition, time for personal prayer and reflection and liturgies, thematic talks are given by the Chaplain retreat directors to help assist in your faith journey.”

This five day silent retreat offers students an opportunity to unplug, unwind, and discern where their Holy Cross education is taking them. As a sophomore making lots of decisions like where to study abroad, what to major in, and where my Holy Cross education is taking me, I thought fall break would be the perfect time to attend. I had also never been to the Thomas P. Joyce ‘59 Contemplative Center  and was feeling a little bit left out of that part of my Holy Cross experience. I’m so glad I ended up deciding to participate. 

I knew a little bit about the Exercises from classes I had taken and my general knowledge of the Jesuits. Though challenging, the silence was a beautiful way to experience discernment and contemplation. I’ll also add that throughout the five days, each day contains four sessions where you hear and learn about the actual exercises of Ignatius. Each day participants also have the chance to meet with a Spiritual Director to talk about where he or she is in her faith journey and what he or she is looking to accomplish on the retreat. Realistically it’s not complete silence. There’s also lots of individual activities, like painting, hiking, and playing instruments.

The retreat also takes you through the Jesuit concept of finding and knowing God. Over the course of the five days, I experienced several moments where my vision of God changed. Instead of seeing God as a higher power, I started to see God as a friend walking with me through life. This is one of the many revelations I experienced on retreat. Other people go on the retreat to begin their relationship with God, and others go to be still. It was particularly moving to watch the sunrise each morning and remind myself that there is something greater than I out there. The experience was overwhelming life giving, reminding me to take time to be still and be reflective.

Overall, it was an exceptionally moving experience. Students from any faith background can have a moving experience of the exercises. Spending five days unplugged and silent helped me not only grow in faith but grow in my own self-knowledge. I took time to think about what the future may hold and how I want to spend my next two years at Holy Cross. I’m looking forward to hopefully going again senior year and using the time to pray and think about my own life in a different way.