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Trip Down Memory Lane: Installment #3

On the second day of Freshman Orientation, Dean Goodwin met us in the Mary Chapel and gave us a piece of paper and an envelope. The envelope and piece of paper had the intimidating phrase “CLASS OF 2011” blazoned across it, and, at the time, May of 2011 seemed so far away. She asked us to write down our hopes for this year and what gifts we brought to the Holy Cross community. Then we sealed up the envelope and handed them into her. We all wondered when (more like if) we’d ever see those envelopes again.

Fast forward to this evening. I stopped by my mailbox, and there was an envelope with my freshman year handwriting on it.

I could tell it’s from my freshman year because a) that’s not how I write (well, that’s how I used to write when I was trying to make it look good) and b) I recognize the envelope instantly.

The letter itself brought me back to August of 2007. I vividly remember sitting in the Mary chapel (I can actually tell you which chair) and I remember the emotions that were racing through my mind. It was only the second day of Orientation – I still didn’t know anyone save my roommate, Carrie, and she was in another orientation group. I was lost, confused, and afraid. That reflection exercise in the Mary chapel made me sit down and focus on why I chose Holy Cross, what I expected from my education, and how I knew that this was the place for me.

My handwriting hasn’t improved. In fact, it’s become worse. Actually, “my awful handwriting” is something that I wrote under the “Gifts I bring to the Holy Cross community” section.

But reading the “Hopes for this year” part was interesting. In my typical Colleen fashion, the first one that I wrote down was “do well in classes.” But the next ones were illuminating (at least, looking back on them). I wrote that I hoped to “open my mind to new ideas in new classes” and to “make friends that will last a lifetime.” The last entry was “to find myself.” Quite bold hopes, really! But, in all honesty, I’ve been able to make those hopes into a reality. Over the past four years, I have been able to explore new ideas, challenge my old ways of thinking, find amazing friends that will last a lifetime, and, in the process of it all, discover my strengths and talents (and weaknesses too). So, yes, I plotted out a lot of hopes that seemed almost infeasible for four years. But, yet, at least I didn’t expect the most impossible – I readily accepted back then that my handwriting is awful, and there’s nothing that even a four year Jesuit education can do to change that.
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Wrapping Up

Yesterday was my last day of classes at Holy Cross. The experience isn’t as weird as it is for some of my friends who have jobs lined up (aka, they’re going into the real world). Well, it is still weird for me, but at least I know I’ll be in a classroom again come October. For some of my friends, though, yesterday was it. It’s all so surreal – I can’t believe that the end is coming this quickly. My thesis is finished, and I’m going to get it bound tomorrow. My final presentation for Chant went well. I have two more papers to write for Chaucer and Contemporary Literary Theory; the former is due on Friday, and the latter is due next Tuesday. I have my oral final exam for CLT on Saturday…and then I’m finished.
Yesterday was really weird for another reason, though. It was my last ballroom dance practice. Every year, we turn the last day of practice into a dinner and dancing event. I just couldn’t believe it that practice was it. Ballroom has been such a huge part of my college life, and it seems weird that that chapter is now over (well, at least the American side). I’m excited to see how the team will grow next year, but I will miss being a part of it all. Now I’m headed off to my final Kimball banquet. Why is everything wrapping up right now? It’s all happening way too quickly!
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“Your Experience in a Minute. Go.”

You’ve all read this blog to (ideally) get a sense of what life is like here. You’ve been through it all with me – the late nights, the exams, the papers, everything. You all know how much I have to say about my experience at Holy Cross – I love this school, and trying to stick to a 500 word limit for my entries is quite a task (eh. Sometimes I make it, sometimes I go waaaaaaaaay over). So, imagine my surprise when the Public Affairs department asked me to sum up my experience in about a minute. Well, here’s the result:

Wow. I look so…so…stoic…I might try to get another screen shot.

Senior Interview

On that website, you can also see Miriam, one of my really good friends (She’s also our class valedictorian!), Anthony, who’s a fellow CHP’er, Wan-Yi, who is another CHP’er, and Andrew who’s an amazing student athlete. Five quite different voices and experiences, yet one similar characteristic: we all love Holy Cross and our four years here. Check them out! They are only a minute, after all.

And, in other news……

It is so close to being bound!
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Revision

I have entered the final stage of the thesis process – the cumbersome revision process. Although I’ve been editing all along, Prof. Kee and Prof. Ireland are encouraging me to explore different articles, articulate specific themes, and just delete some pages (the last one is just a terrifying experience). What’s really cool is that I get to see how much my writing has progressed since I first started writing this thesis. My writing has now been influenced very heavily by my Literary Theory class, and that’s evident in my second and third chapters. The first one that I wrote in first semester? Well, not so much. It’s not bad, but I just know what I want to say and how to say it better now. Hopefully I’ll be able to wrap this project up by Friday, and then it will be bound and out of my life next week – that is, unless I decide to try and publish it (watch this space!).

Speaking of revision and Literary Theory, Professor Mulrooney had us do an interesting experiment. We had to select one essay from our undergraduate career, re-examine it, and think about how we would write it differently knowing the literary theory that we know now. I chose the seminar paper that I wrote for him back in my sophomore year. I remember being so proud of this essay, since it was the first major essay that I wrote and I finally felt as if I had “said something.” After re-reading it, I realize that I didn’t say nearly as much as I thought I did. It’s still a fine paper and I’m still proud of it – heck, it’s the paper that inspired my desire to read the modern through a medieval lens (hellooooo, thesis!). But it’s just interesting to see my writing style back then. Now I know how I would re-explore both of the original texts in search of textual support and how I would write – yes, Literary Theory has even affected the way that I write. Being able to look back and see where I once was in comparison to now is illuminating. I mean, within just the four short years that I’ve been here at Holy Cross, my writing style has change completely (even more so than my hairstyle).
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‘Tis the Season

Last week was Holy Cross’ Academic Conference, which consists in undergraduate presentations. The College Honors Program and departmental Honors Programs give seniors the opportunity to present our theses, and I think I received a grand total of 30 event invitations over Facebook. From Wednesday morning to Saturday afternoon, I was in Hogan either giving presentations (I had two) or watching my friends present. What was fascinating was the diverse range of topics that my friends explored for the past year. Margaret argued that fairy tales inculcate certain values of a nation state, and she explored how the rise of a country’s fairy tales is congruent with the rise of their nation/culture. Yes, she watched Disney movies as part of her thesis research – best honors thesis idea ever. Sarah explored the similarities between the Holocaust and the Rwandan genocide to see if there are any similar characteristics in the lead-up to both events; she was attempting to isolate a strain of characteristics that could possibly help us detect possible sites of future genocide and stop it before it happens. Bill wrote about food in the Old Testament and how it delves much further than simply offering another person bread. Carrie investigated the similarities and differences in the evolution of the knight ideal in Medieval England and fourteenth century Japan. Colin wrote about literary cartography, and made his own map of Faulkner’s Yoknapatawpha County.

I presented with the English Honors Panel on Friday afternoon (even though I’m a member of both College Honors and English Honors, I had to present only once). When I was preparing, I saw all of the professors walk in – Kee, Mulrooney, Oser, Ireland, Matlak, Geracht, and even Fr. McFarland. That’s when I started to get nervous. After spending a  year on the topic, I just had visions that someone during the Q&A Session would state what a terrible idea my honors thesis was. Luckily, that did not happen. In fact, quite the opposite – two professors told me that I should seek publication. Of course, they then stated, “Hm. What journal would accept that type of publication….” Yes, welcome to my future life as an academic. It really was a great experience, and I really enjoyed myself once I got in the rhythm of presenting. Everyone did a fantastic job, and I’m just overwhelmed at how brilliant my friends are.

The week ahead is a bit rough – it’s the last official week of classes. Tough to believe, right? Within that time frame, I have to finish a take-home exam for Contemporary Literary Theory, present my findings on Julian of Norwich to Pr. Kee’s Medieval Literature class, visit a convent in Connecticut to hear them sing Vespers, present the initial findings for my Chaucer final paper, and revise my thesis. That’s going to be a bit difficult to do when it’s this beautiful outside: