Author: hcwebdev

Tonight was my last regular Mass with the entire student body on campus. Yes, there’s Mass next Sunday and then our Baccalaureate Mass next Thursday, but those are specifically for Seniors. The 10 p.m. Mass has always been my favorite – I do love the 11:30 a.m. Mass, but the sense of community at the 10 is just overwhelming. At first, I wasn’t scheduled to serve tonight (the first time I haven’t served at a Mass since…February?) because I wanted to sit with Bill, Margaret, Ashley, and Jimmy – just to really enjoy Mass. Then I received a phone call asking if I could serve. It seemed kind of fitting to serve at my last Mass, so I said yes.  It was a really weird feeling – it felt like any other Mass, laughing at our mistakes, the things we forgot to set up, and rushing around and acting like we knew what we were doing. But there was also a sense of sadness. Aside from Ballroom Dance, the Chaplains’ Office has really been my main activity on campus, be it through SPUD, MAGIS, or Liturgical Ministry. Then, as the lector read out the following intention: “And we pray for the Class of 2011 as they go out into the world…” Of course, Paul Melley then had to close Mass with “Go Out in the World.” It was quite sad. See, my first real experience of Holy Cross was during Mass on Accepted Students’ Day. Mom couldn’t stay with me and I was spending the night at HC, so I went to Mass alone. But the sense of community at that Mass just made me feel at home instantaneously. I knew that I could go to school where such a community of friendly, faithful kids could make me, that lonely little 17 year old from Georgia, feel as if I was already a part of their community. It was also that same community – specifically the 10 p.m. Mass – that made me feel so welcome after my year abroad at Oxford. I felt like I had really come home after an extended vacation. So that’s why tonight was difficult. And no, technically it’s not a good-bye since I’ll have two more Masses on campus, but it definitely won’t be the same.

After this very reflective Mass, Bill, Margaret, Brian, Mike, and I went to Midnight Breakfast, where we indulged on pumpkin pancakes, bacon, and eggs that Fr. McFarland, Dean Austin (an Oxford grad woo hoo!), and Dr. Velacchio served us. Quite a contrast…

On the second day of Freshman Orientation, Dean Goodwin met us in the Mary Chapel and gave us a piece of paper and an envelope. The envelope and piece of paper had the intimidating phrase “CLASS OF 2011” blazoned across it, and, at the time, May of 2011 seemed so far away. She asked us to write down our hopes for this year and what gifts we brought to the Holy Cross community. Then we sealed up the envelope and handed them into her. We all wondered when (more like if) we’d ever see those envelopes again.

Fast forward to this evening. I stopped by my mailbox, and there was an envelope with my freshman year handwriting on it.

I could tell it’s from my freshman year because a) that’s not how I write (well, that’s how I used to write when I was trying to make it look good) and b) I recognize the envelope instantly.

The letter itself brought me back to August of 2007. I vividly remember sitting in the Mary chapel (I can actually tell you which chair) and I remember the emotions that were racing through my mind. It was only the second day of Orientation – I still didn’t know anyone save my roommate, Carrie, and she was in another orientation group. I was lost, confused, and afraid. That reflection exercise in the Mary chapel made me sit down and focus on why I chose Holy Cross, what I expected from my education, and how I knew that this was the place for me.

My handwriting hasn’t improved. In fact, it’s become worse. Actually, “my awful handwriting” is something that I wrote under the “Gifts I bring to the Holy Cross community” section.

But reading the “Hopes for this year” part was interesting. In my typical Colleen fashion, the first one that I wrote down was “do well in classes.” But the next ones were illuminating (at least, looking back on them). I wrote that I hoped to “open my mind to new ideas in new classes” and to “make friends that will last a lifetime.” The last entry was “to find myself.” Quite bold hopes, really! But, in all honesty, I’ve been able to make those hopes into a reality. Over the past four years, I have been able to explore new ideas, challenge my old ways of thinking, find amazing friends that will last a lifetime, and, in the process of it all, discover my strengths and talents (and weaknesses too). So, yes, I plotted out a lot of hopes that seemed almost infeasible for four years. But, yet, at least I didn’t expect the most impossible – I readily accepted back then that my handwriting is awful, and there’s nothing that even a four year Jesuit education can do to change that.

Last week was Holy Cross’ Academic Conference, which consists in undergraduate presentations. The College Honors Program and departmental Honors Programs give seniors the opportunity to present our theses, and I think I received a grand total of 30 event invitations over Facebook. From Wednesday morning to Saturday afternoon, I was in Hogan either giving presentations (I had two) or watching my friends present. What was fascinating was the diverse range of topics that my friends explored for the past year. Margaret argued that fairy tales inculcate certain values of a nation state, and she explored how the rise of a country’s fairy tales is congruent with the rise of their nation/culture. Yes, she watched Disney movies as part of her thesis research – best honors thesis idea ever. Sarah explored the similarities between the Holocaust and the Rwandan genocide to see if there are any similar characteristics in the lead-up to both events; she was attempting to isolate a strain of characteristics that could possibly help us detect possible sites of future genocide and stop it before it happens. Bill wrote about food in the Old Testament and how it delves much further than simply offering another person bread. Carrie investigated the similarities and differences in the evolution of the knight ideal in Medieval England and fourteenth century Japan. Colin wrote about literary cartography, and made his own map of Faulkner’s Yoknapatawpha County.

I presented with the English Honors Panel on Friday afternoon (even though I’m a member of both College Honors and English Honors, I had to present only once). When I was preparing, I saw all of the professors walk in – Kee, Mulrooney, Oser, Ireland, Matlak, Geracht, and even Fr. McFarland. That’s when I started to get nervous. After spending a  year on the topic, I just had visions that someone during the Q&A Session would state what a terrible idea my honors thesis was. Luckily, that did not happen. In fact, quite the opposite – two professors told me that I should seek publication. Of course, they then stated, “Hm. What journal would accept that type of publication….” Yes, welcome to my future life as an academic. It really was a great experience, and I really enjoyed myself once I got in the rhythm of presenting. Everyone did a fantastic job, and I’m just overwhelmed at how brilliant my friends are.

The week ahead is a bit rough – it’s the last official week of classes. Tough to believe, right? Within that time frame, I have to finish a take-home exam for Contemporary Literary Theory, present my findings on Julian of Norwich to Pr. Kee’s Medieval Literature class, visit a convent in Connecticut to hear them sing Vespers, present the initial findings for my Chaucer final paper, and revise my thesis. That’s going to be a bit difficult to do when it’s this beautiful outside: