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All Shall Be Well

It.

Is.

Finished.

I have finally completed my honors thesis, and it looks beautiful in its binding. After approximately 300 cups of tea (that’s an accurate number) and countless hours of banging my head against the wall, I am finished with it.


Yes, those are all of the books that I consulted throughout the process. This does not include the articles or the Interlibrary Loan books. I did a lot of reading this year. And what’s really sad is that all of that research boiled down to 130 pages.

The entire thing ended up being around 130 pages, and I still didn’t say everything that I wanted to. I’m glad that I went through this process because it exposed me to the academic writing that I hope to do in the near future. Professor Kee was such a wonderful advisor throughout the entire process, and in our last meeting, he told me that I will never be satisfied with anything that I write – it’s just a fact of academic life. And, yes, I know that I could’ve articulated certain points more, or investigated a certain theme more. But, for an undergraduate honors thesis, I’m quite proud of what I was able to accomplish. It’s also kind of cool to hold it in my hands and say, “Wow. I wrote this.”

To quote one of my favorite lines from Beowulf, “Rest? What is rest?” I still have two final papers to write and a final exam to prepare for. May 17th…May 17th…May 17th…and all shalle be wele, according to Dame Julyean!
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“Your Experience in a Minute. Go.”

You’ve all read this blog to (ideally) get a sense of what life is like here. You’ve been through it all with me – the late nights, the exams, the papers, everything. You all know how much I have to say about my experience at Holy Cross – I love this school, and trying to stick to a 500 word limit for my entries is quite a task (eh. Sometimes I make it, sometimes I go waaaaaaaaay over). So, imagine my surprise when the Public Affairs department asked me to sum up my experience in about a minute. Well, here’s the result:

Wow. I look so…so…stoic…I might try to get another screen shot.

Senior Interview

On that website, you can also see Miriam, one of my really good friends (She’s also our class valedictorian!), Anthony, who’s a fellow CHP’er, Wan-Yi, who is another CHP’er, and Andrew who’s an amazing student athlete. Five quite different voices and experiences, yet one similar characteristic: we all love Holy Cross and our four years here. Check them out! They are only a minute, after all.

And, in other news……

It is so close to being bound!
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Revision

I have entered the final stage of the thesis process – the cumbersome revision process. Although I’ve been editing all along, Prof. Kee and Prof. Ireland are encouraging me to explore different articles, articulate specific themes, and just delete some pages (the last one is just a terrifying experience). What’s really cool is that I get to see how much my writing has progressed since I first started writing this thesis. My writing has now been influenced very heavily by my Literary Theory class, and that’s evident in my second and third chapters. The first one that I wrote in first semester? Well, not so much. It’s not bad, but I just know what I want to say and how to say it better now. Hopefully I’ll be able to wrap this project up by Friday, and then it will be bound and out of my life next week – that is, unless I decide to try and publish it (watch this space!).

Speaking of revision and Literary Theory, Professor Mulrooney had us do an interesting experiment. We had to select one essay from our undergraduate career, re-examine it, and think about how we would write it differently knowing the literary theory that we know now. I chose the seminar paper that I wrote for him back in my sophomore year. I remember being so proud of this essay, since it was the first major essay that I wrote and I finally felt as if I had “said something.” After re-reading it, I realize that I didn’t say nearly as much as I thought I did. It’s still a fine paper and I’m still proud of it – heck, it’s the paper that inspired my desire to read the modern through a medieval lens (hellooooo, thesis!). But it’s just interesting to see my writing style back then. Now I know how I would re-explore both of the original texts in search of textual support and how I would write – yes, Literary Theory has even affected the way that I write. Being able to look back and see where I once was in comparison to now is illuminating. I mean, within just the four short years that I’ve been here at Holy Cross, my writing style has change completely (even more so than my hairstyle).
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“So, what exactly do you do?”

Raise your hand if my posts about paleography lost you. Raise your hand if you have no idea what a medieval manuscript looks like.

Well, do I have good news for you! For my final project in my Chant as Popular Music class, I’m making a catalog of all the Gregorian chant manuscripts located in the Worcester area. The local colleges and universities have been so helpful in this research. I just spent the afternoon at Assumption College, where I was able to work with Fr. Donat Lamothe. Assumption has several flyleaves of Gregorian chant manuscripts. So…this is what I do:

Welcome to the Emmanuel d’Alzon Library at Assumption College!

Assumption College has several flyleaves of chant manuscripts in its archives. Now, since I’m still a non-specialist, I can’t handle the manuscripts. Instead, they have to remain in the frames. Even if I could take them out of the frames, I would have to wear gloves to prevent any oils on my hands destroying the already delicate sheets. Three of the leaves were framed in such a way that I could see both sides (recto and verso), but I could only see the recto side of the other two leaves.

This is an antiphon for the Feast of Pentecost. This manuscript is from the 1400’s, and I’m still trying to identify the specific hand. It’s definitely on parchment, and this manuscript was probably intended for monk use only since it’s not that elaborate.

Here’s a close up. What I do now is I transcribe the hand and then I’ll translate it. The line with the fancy “A” reads: “Accipite spiritu sanctum,” which translates to “Receive the Holy Spirit.” Oh, and those squares are neumes, which is a precursor to modern musical notation.

Let’s look at another one:

This manuscript is much more elaborate than the first one. This manuscript is printed on vellum, for starters (yes, that’s animal skin), which was much more expensive than parchment. This one is also Renaissance, and I’m thinking that it’s probably English. I have to look at it a bit more closely before I can determine that. What’s really interesting about this manuscript (and the other two that are identical to it) is that it just gives the incipits (or, the first line of the chants) and not the actual melody or lyrics, as the other one did. The people using this text would have known the chant melody and lyrics by heart. This one specifically details the Christmas Mass. How can you tell? Look at the big fancy “P.” The letters after it are “uer.” This is the first word of the ultimate Christmas chant, “Puer Natus Est” – A boy is born.

Here’s a close up of that P. Pretty incredible, isn’t it?

Here’s another manuscript written in the same hand:

This one is the incipits for the vespers of the Feast of the Assumption.

Luckily, the title tells us that. That’s quite rare, usually.

But let’s take a closer look at that “A”:

Isn’t it gorgeous? And, if you couldn’t tell from the Latin that these chants are intended for the Assumption, then you can definitely tell from the illumination of the letter A. This is where my true interest in paleography lies – the connection between word and image. That’s another entry for another time, though.

There are more photos of my adventure at Assumption today, but I think I’ll stop where I am now. Welcome to the scary world of a future medievalist!
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“To Fr. Grace!”

Thanks to the generous support from Mr. and Mrs. Michael Halloran ’60, the English department hosted the first annual Fr. Tom Grace Memorial Lecture in Medieval Studies. This was the first time that I had heard of Fr. Grace, but I actually owe most of my education at Holy Cross to him. Fr. Grace was an Oxford-trained Medievalist who was a member of the English faculty in the 1950’s and 60’s. He inspired a generation of Holy Cross students to go to graduate school, and many of them became medievalists, including Traugott Lawler, who is a Professor Emeritus at Yale University and was present at the speech yesterday. He reflected upon how Fr. Grace inspired him personally and professionally – according to Mr. Lawler, Fr. Grace relied heavily on the Socratic method and wanted students to lead discussion instead of lecturing to them for hours on end. He pushed them to deliver only their finest and to follow their academic passions, whatever they might be. So, although I never met Fr. Grace, I feel connected to him through my association with Holy Cross, Oxford, and the medieval period. The talk also helped me realize the Holy Cross Medieval Studies tradition of which I’ve become a part, starting with Fr. Grace and continuing through Professor Lawler.

The speaker last night was Dean Seth Lerer from the University of California in San Diego. Funny story – one of his books was actually on my reading list for one of my tutorials last year. Small world, huh? Anyway, Dean Lerer talked about a manuscript that he happened to find at the San Diego Public Library. It’s a 15th century book of hours that has additions in it throughout the 16th (and maybe 17th) century. These personal prayers are written in a letter-like style, and they possess a Pauline quality. I’m going to stop there because I’m afraid that I’m going to bore most of you to death if I continue, but if you’ve followed this blog at all, you can probably guess why I was so excited about the talk. Lerer was an extremely energetic presenter, and we’re really so blessed to have had him as the speaker for the first Tom Grace Memorial Lecture.

What was also fantastic is that I got to go out to dinner with Dean Lerer, Professor Lawler, Professor Kee, Professor Ireland, and Mr. and Mrs. Halloran after the presentation. The conversation was superb – I was able to talk to Professor Lawler about medieval studies (whoever decided to seat the two of us next to each other…THANK YOU). It turns out that Professor Lawler is very good friends with Ralph Hanna (that’s a blast from the past for you blog readers). Dean Lerer attended Oxford for his Masters (Hertford College, actually!), so I was able to talk with him about graduate school, etc. And, perhaps the best moment of the night was when Mr. Halloran commented on my polka dot socks (they were the only clean trouser socks that I had, and I thought my pants were covering them). At that, Dean Lerer showed us his “modest” argyle socks. It was, quite frankly, one of the best nights that I’ve had at Holy Cross.

So, here’s to Fr. Grace and all those that he was able to inspire in his brief time at Holy Cross!
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The All Encompassing Thesis Project

I have decided to rename my thesis “The Culmination of My Four Years at Holy Cross.” I am not kidding when I say that nearly every class I am taking this semester (well, maybe that should be in the past tense. I’m still reluctant to admit that I have only one semester left) has popped up in this thesis. For instance, my Christology course introduced me to Karl Rahner, who is now factoring heavily in the third chapter of my thesis. For my last Apocalypticism class, we had to read several articles by Mertz, who basically works eschatology within contemporary Catholicism, which is a major theme of my last chapter as well. Then there are all the other classes taken in previous years that served as a foundation somewhere along the way… This is really what a thesis should be like, though. I’m glad that I have a project upon which I’ll be able to look back in ten years and realize the value and breadth of my education at Holy Cross. Unfortunately, I have about one hundred more pages to write until I can arrive at that point.
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“Keep Reading.”

Phew. Today, I experienced the most typical Jesuit style of exam that exists. Fr. Brooks (who is Holy Cross embodied in a person) teaches my Contemporary Christology course – this course has been extremely popular with students since at least the 1980’s. It’s a hallmark of the Holy Cross Religious Studies department. Fr. Brooks constructs the class so that each student will research one contemporary theologian for an entire semester. It’s all independent work, and the weekly class meeting usually covers a general theme of Christology – suffering, the Incarnation, Jesus’ consciousness, etc. There’s no written work, and there’s no assessment prior to our exam. Our grade rests all on our final, which is a two hour examination by three to five outside professors. You are expected to know your theologian well enough that if they ask any question, you should be able to respond, “Well, my theologian would respond in such a way.” It’s a terrifying thought, really. On top of that, I researched Karl Rahner, who is a particular favorite of Fr. Brooks’. Yikes!

So 3:30 came around, and the five of us entered the examination room. As the professors fired away and made us syncretize what our theologians were saying, all five of us started to get into a rhythm. We started defending our various positions and engaged each other in debates (all in good nature, I assure you!). It was fantastic and probably one of the best experiences in my time at Holy Cross. Afterwards, Fr. Brooks treated us to an extremely nice dinner in Hogan where the debates continued – talk about a dinner table conversation! At the end, Fr. Brooks closed with the quote with which he always closed class – “Keep reading.”

This exam was, I think, one of the most enriching experiences that I’ve had at Holy Cross. It wasn’t your typical exam at all. Instead of having to know the right answer immediately, we were all allowed to think through our answers and reflect for a bit. It truly was an event in which we could articulate all that we had learned for the past semester instead of trying to cram it into one blue book. Was it intimidating that there were three other professors who were firing questions at me? Yes. But did I love it? Yes. I constantly had to think about and defend Rahner, and it made me realize exactly how much I have learned over the past semester. So, to any prospective students (or even current students at Holy Cross): enroll in Contemporary Christology. It is the best course that you will take at Holy Cross.

And now I’m off to study for Shakespeare and write my Apocalypticism paper. But I will be home in less than two weeks!
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I warned you.

Remember when I warned you all that since this is my senior year, I’m going to have a lot of reflection style entries about my years at Holy Cross? Well…I did warn you.

Today, I talked with one of my professors about my upcoming paper for my Shakespeare class (Carrie and I now refer to Mr. Shakespeare as Shakey. It’s catchy and much easier to say.). We then started talking about the nature of the liberal arts education and what he’s trying to achieve in class. See, I expressed a fear about maintaining my average for graduate schools, and he told me to stop worrying about the grades and focus more on education – that’s what the liberal arts experience is really all about. Now, that is much easier said than done, especially for someone as OCD and neurotic about grades as me, but his comment made me reflect upon my grades. The highest grades that I’ve received are in the classes where I stopped working for the grade and started working for the sheer enjoyment of learning. Yes, yes, I know how cliche this sounds, but it’s so true. I’ve been lucky enough to find professors at Holy Cross (and Oxford as well) who teach in this manner and focus not on the end result, but on the journey to get there. I think I’m going to end this “senior moment” entry now, but my talk with my professor was just really inspiring. And that, my friends, is why I love the liberal arts education.
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A Jesuit Success Story

Today, a certain organization held a recruiting information session for seniors. When I first entered Holy Cross, I only wanted to work for this organization – that was my plan. Then the Jesuits got a hold of me and the rest is history…

My Jesuit education made me reflect on why I even wanted to join this organization – did I feel a strong passion for it? Could I be a woman for others by working for them? Was this organization the best way to redistribute my talents to better society? After periods of deep reflection, I realized that the answer to all of those was no. Instead of planning out my life based upon one organization, I began to explore my personal interests – what made me tick, what resonated within me the most.

Instead of attending that organization’s recruiting fair, I skipped off to the library to work on my thesis on Julian of Norwich and Flannery O’Connor. Funny how things change.
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Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

I enrolled for classes for the last time on the STAR system. And I’m quite sad about it.

Not really, actually. See, enrollment has always gone extremely smoothly for me. I’ve been one of those unique lucky students who has enrolled in every single class that I have ever wanted. Sure, I’ve had to get permission to take some of my courses, and my luck might be a result of no one else wanting to take the same courses as me. I’ve heard some horror stories from some of my friends – they can only enroll in one or two classes, and then they have to go ask professors if they can overfill the class, etc (one of the many good things about Holy Cross being so small and exclusively undergraduate is that you can do stuff like that and professors will 9.9 times out of 10 allow you to enter).

So why am I happy that this is my last enrollment? Well, for starters, enrollment is always at 7:00 a.m. Although I usually get up this early anyway (yes, I’m speaking the truth, Mom and Dad!), let’s face it – it’s early. And there’s always that pregnant pause – that awful moment of hesitation in which your computer frantically attempts to successfully enroll you in all of your courses. You sit on the edge of your computer – you’re barely awake, you’re clutching your mug of tea (if you’re me. If you’re the average Holy Cross student, it’s probably coffee), and you’re frantically going through your back up plan just in case your primary choices don’t work out. It’s a frightening five millisecond span.

So what am I taking next term?

This is as of right now. One class might change a bit, and this doesn’t include my thesis meeting – Prof. Kee and I arrange that individually. This also doesn’t include the TS Eliot class that I’m auditing. But, as you can imagine, I’m really happy about this set of classes. It is weird to finally see the term Spring 2011. Stop going by so quickly, senior year!